Waking As A Girl
by DeathlyIris
Summary: You've just woken to one of the worst pranks. You John Egbert are now a girl for reasons you can't seem to figure out.
1. Waking To Hell

Looking at the clothing sprawled out on your bed you couldn't help but gag. You knew Kanaya was a fashion demon but why'd she have to choose the clothing so quickly? Whats more why'd she have to choose a skirt. The shirt was ok, almost like your normal one. But suited for a more petite body frame. Then there was the deadly women attire you never dreamed to wear. A light blue bra, just sitting there taunting you.

You couldn't help but blush at the thought of putting it on. Wait, how do you even put a bra on? You would never know with the fact that a few hours ago you were a guy. It was only when you calmed down after waking with… women parts that you went to pester rose. She in response pestered Kanaya who later barged into your house with a set of cloth and measuring tape. The next few things that happened are just a blur.

Soon after she had you all measured up a pair of clothing was placed on your bed. Which brings you back to your problem at the moment. Well your two problems to be more specific. The first is how the hell do you put on a bra. The other is why a skirt?!

"John, are you going to put the clothing on or do I need to come in to help?" Kanaya asks from the other side of the door. Looking over to the door your face becomes red.

"Uhhhhh, no i-i'm good!" you stutter quickly picking up the bra and testing ways to put it on. After 6 failed tries you finally manage to put it on correctly. Well you think you did. Next you throw the shirt on and -oh god- do you really have to wear the skirt?

"John" You hear Kanaya say walking up to the door just about to open it.-oh no oh no- That's it your pride will have to suck it up. Before she can barge in you slip the soft blue skirt up onto your ass. Turning around to face the door just in time to see it slam open.

"Oh! Hey Kanaya" you say embarrassed. You were being treated like a little girl who needed her mom to clothe her. Not that you were going to whine about that to a girl with a chainsaw. Ever since you landed on this comet you've been avoiding chaos with her. That and Karkat who seems to cuss you out when he sees your face.

"I see you've dressed yourself John" Rose comments coming up from behind Kanaya. Kanaya moves slightly out of the way so Rose can get a better look. "Kanaya you've done a great job she looks gorgeous" she says look up at Kanaya. Kanaya simply nods and looks over at you.

You were pretty stunning with your now long black hair hanging down the back of your now small body. Your breast weren't that big, at the size of 'B' if what the bra said was correct. Your legs were nice and slender though your height was not much of a compliment. You deep blue eyes were oval with your squared glasses sizing up your nice facials. Though with as much that you lost your buckteeth were still there.

"Well then, now that you are dressed shall we go speak to the others about this?" Kanaya asks pointing out the room. Rose leaves with Kanaya following her behind. -Great, now to get laughed at by Dave- you think to yourself trudging your female body out of the room.

After a few minutes of thinking about just what could happen when Dave and Karkat see you, you decide to run if either look like their about to laugh. Yep, that's your plan it's total and utter bull proof. Unless you trip and fall, or one of them corners you. Who are you kidding this plan will not work and you have got to make a run for it right now before you get in that room.

"Dave, Karkat there's something we've got to talk about"

To late your now in the exact room that Karkat and Dave always hang out and there they are looking right over at you. Huh, when did it get so hot?

"Sup"

"What do you Kana-John?" Karkat looks over at you almost confused as to why your a girl.

"He-hey guys" you stutter waving your hand at them. Karkat turns completely red and just stands there gawking at your appearance. As for dave he just whistles. Oh god that got you. Your eyes make their way to the door planning out your escape. Nope! Kanaya was leaning on the door frame next to rose. You curse under your breath for not absconding quick enough.

"John?" Oh shit nope not gonna turn around. not gonna look at the painfully obvious smirk planted upon Daves face. You especially don't want to turn around and hear Karkats embarrassing rant about how stupid you are. And how the hell did you become a girl? The very question you wish to stay away from. It would be to much work to tell them you just happened to wake up and ladidadida your a girl.

As you stood there thinking of all the stupid things that could happen. You didn't notice karat stand up and slowly inch to you. You were in your own world for so long you didn't hear kanaya tell them what had happened or see karkat blow up on her. Nope, to busy thinking bought stupid stuff like any other stupid derpy dude that wakes up like a girl would think. Huh, you wonder if there's a movie about this. That would be hilarious. You chuckle at this silly thought.

"What's so funny Egbert?!" Karkat practically yells into your ear. You blink, when did he get there? You stare at him practically going back into deep thought before he barks yet again. "John, have you been just standing there day dreaming this whole time!" it was a statement, not a question. Blush aluminates your face when you realize he's practically breathing on you he's so close.

"Ummm, no I was listening to the whole entire conversation!" You lie taking step back away from Karkat.

"OH, Yeah tell me John what the hell were we talking about?" He retorts walking up closer to you.

"Ummmmmmm, let's see just give me a sec…. gosh Karkat after all your yelling I completely forgot!" you state taking a huge step back away from him. He opens his mouth to say something but then stops when Dave interrupts with a snicker. Quickly turning around he looks across the room to where dave was sitting.

"WHAT"S SO FUNNY DAVE!?" he practically yells at dave with rage. The two of them never seemed to be good friends. Supposedly one time Dave made Karkat draw bone bulges on one of Roses books. Damn you really wish you were there to see that. From what Rose told you she's still bitter about how they treated her book. So bitter she's pretty much stopped using the book!

You like tp think one day in the far future someone will find where she hid it. Flip to that page and scream with embarrassment. Maybe you should find the book and put a trigger camera next to it.

"FUCK!" Karkat screamed pulling you away from your planing for a hilarious prank. Looking over you see Karkat on the ground with Terezi trying to lick him. Karkats now looking over at you with a pleading look for help. Shaking your head you turn around and start walking, not that you have anywhere to go. "EGBERT" you hear him scream from his prison under Terezi. Turning around you start giggling you always loved to mess with karkat. His reactions were just to hilarious.

You decide to be the awesome guy- oops girl and save him from his captor. With a few silly movements of you hands Terezi is lifted into the air and Karkat is making a run for it.

You are know the best super hero ever! The hero is you.

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**I have no idea where i'm going with this but yeah... Which ship is better? Karkat and John or Dave and John? I need to know to make this easier on me.**


	2. New Emotions

"Hahaha, this is so fun!" Terezi screeched from her place in the air. Her hands swatting around as if trying to swim. You couldn't help but giggle she was just so hilarious. Slowly you dropped her onto the ground where she sprawled out giggling. Dave watched unfazed by the comedic show that had just happened. While Karkat cursed from behind you. Suddenly Terezi froze and looked right at you. "John, You smell different" Terezi said crawling over to you. Blush spread across your face when you remembered that you're a girl.

"You smell like cotton candy with a more lighter **feminine** blueberry smell" Terezi says know right in your face grinning. "John, why do you smell so girly?" she asked her grin growing larger. It was obvious she already knew what was going on. She was just waiting for you to squirm and give her a show.

"Yeah i'd like to know what happened two" Karkat inquired coming from behind you. Great, let the story begin…Now how to say it with ought blowing up. Is that even possible? Before you can get into a huge thought rant Karkats in your face yelling "Hey Egderp don't you zone out on me!" Shaking your head you look at him and slowly bring yourself back to earth…..well the commit? Whatever, it doesn't matter where your going back to. The point is your back and being ever so gratefully cussed out. "I mean what the fuck Egbert were you just so fucking weak and feminine you decided to change sexes. Is that even possible!? God human terminology is just so fucked up!"

"Karkat I can hear you so please stop. I'll tell you what happened ok?" You blurt looking up at him. Huh, when did he get so tall? So unfair being a girl sucks you lose all your sweet height you use to bully certain cranky trolls. It's sort of upsetting when you look up at him only to notice he's a little to close. So close you can feel his breath on your forehead and can see his bright red eyes and his crinkled nose. His eyebrows are furrowed downward and his lips are pushed out slightly burdened with a deep scowl. A light blush comes over your face when you realize you were staring for a little to long. But you don't move, you're frozen down by his mesmerizing stare.

"You two gonna make-up or what?" Strider says nonchalantly a slight glimmer on his shades as he stares at the two of you. "I sure as hell don't care but I thought you weren't 'homo' John" He says putting quotes on the 'homo' part. Making you blush even deeper.

"Fuck, Dave we are not having any redrom feel jam at the moment. I'm just doing my part as leader and making sure this nooksucker doesn't space out yet again!" Karkat hisses at Dave his back now at you. You let out a slight sigh you never noticed you were holding in. Making your way from behind Karkat you walk over to where Dave is a find a seat yourself next to him. Then turn around in the seat to look right at Karkat.

"Hey, Karkat why don't you calm down and come sit down!" You blurt waving him over. He looks at you slightly insulted but finally sighs and walks over seating himself on the couch opposite of your own. Terezi follows in tow and sits right on him.

"Oooh, what a comfy chair you are Karkles" She cackles. Flailing from side to side as Karkat tries to push her off. As you watch the two of them you can't help but giggle. They were just to silly. Terezi being her usual weird way and Karkat acting like a cute grumpy troll. It was just way to much fun to watch…WAIT, did you just call Karkat **cute**? Oh no, it must've been you're imagination. Or maybe it's just the power of being a girl. They call a lot of things cute and Terezi always calls Karkat cute. Yeah, it's just you being a girl. It's only normal for a girl to call things cute just watch soon you'll be painting your nails blue and wearing makeup. It's just the way girl hormones work!

"Awww, Karkles that's so not cute! Stop being a mister grouchy pants and let me sit on your lap!" You hear Terezi say as she tries to keep her place his lap.

"Fuck no! Terezi go annoy someone else like the useless human in douche bag sunglasses!" He Hisses pushing her off his lap using all his strength.

"OK" she cackles getting up from where she lay on the floor and making her way to Dave. "Dave let me sit on you!" She spouts jumping onto his lap. Dave nods slightly and looks over at you.

"Gonna tell us how you became a chick now that we are all comfy a shit can be" He questions. His facials not moving more than three pixels. His cool kid facade was just so darn stone hard. You once tried to break it but after a while you learned that it's impossible.

"Oh, yeah I guess I should tell you guys huh? Just gotta warn you it's not that big of a story." He nods again telling you to keep talking. "Well yesterday I was a guy hehehe, guess you guys would know since I was talking to all of you yesterday! Well, me and Karkat had a chat about… What was it again?" You stare up at the ceiline trying to figure out just what it was. "Ugh, can't remember! But, anyways in the middle of the conversation Karkat said some gay phrase so I told him I wasn't homo and he got all upset and started to cuss me out. Around that time Kanaya came in to tell the two of us to be quiet and stop with all the bickering" A light blush had now made itself comfortable on you face. You never were a big fan of telling your life stories outloud. " Then Karkat ran off mumbling something about How i'm so against gays? I don't quite know it was really quiet. But no after that I felt tired and thirsty so I looked around for a drink when I found a weird rainbow soda can. It wasn't open so I took it with me to drink before I went to sleep. When I got to my room I took a sip and well that's all I remember"

For a few minutes everyone is quiet with only the sound of Terezis sniffs and the calm chitter between Rose and Kanaya. Making you feel uncomfortable, it was like they were looking down on you or holding in a laugh. Finally Karkat ends the awkward silence. "That was probably Eridans newest experiment. Something about changing gender with a sip of some drink." Karkat stands and looks you in the eye. "If you want to turn back i'm sure all you need to do is take another swig of that shitty drink." A snarl comes to his face but quickly goes away. Replaced by a face you've never seen on Karkats face. His eyes glittered a tiny bit and mouth curved downward but, it wasn't cause he was pissed. Oh no, this was the face of someone somber like he was about to lose something important. You shuffle under his uncomfortable stare. "It's still in your room right?" He asks his face becoming more and more melancholy by the second.

"Yeah?" You say unsure what else to say.

"Then go and change back to normal you know what to do so just get it over with" He's now looking at the nearest wall. His face seems contoured in a weird way like he's trying to hold in tears. But, being the worst with feeling the atmosphere you jump from your spot on the couch and run out the room with only a friendly wave to tell them where your going. Sure you could've went over and asked him what the matter was. Maybe pat him and the back or give him a big friendly hug. But, your not that type of guy-er girl. Besides your sure it was nothing. Probably just Karkat trying to make you feel bad for tasting the rainbow. No pun intended. It was nothing serious and, sure as hell wasn't your fault.

Right?

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**Sorry it took so long to update...i've been busy. But no hopefully my chapters to this will get longer as I start to plot the story line!**


	3. Cool Kids Bet

Like the wind you rush to your room an odd sense of excitement making your adrenaline rush. _Just a few more steps and i'll be a guy again. _You think to yourself a smile plastered on your goofy face.

"Honk" You look behind you to see a confused Gamzee. Poor guy didn't see the bright blue girl skidding by. WAIT, wasn't Kanaya looking for him? Karkat two, something about vengeance for some great holocaust of sorts…Yeah bad reference. Deleting this odd train of thoughts from your mind you slam your door open. Quickly looking around for the rainbow soda only to find….Dave?! Wasn't he downstairs just a second ago. Gah! You really don't get this time travel junk.

"Sup" He says cooly looking at you with no remorse what so ever.

"Hey Dave! How'd you get here so quick? You know what don't answer that. Do you know where a rainbow soda is?" You ask scouring your room for the cheap trans surgery drink. Dave looks at you and a small pixelated smirk appears on his face.

"What Egderp can't take a day with a girls body?" His words feel like a dare making you grimace.

"What? No, Dave I can sooo take a day as a girl! I just…I just don't roll that way!" You stutter your body shaking slightly. Daves smirk grows wider from these words and comes over to you from the corner he was chilling in. He's soon right next to you and leaning next to your ear.

"Then prove it" He whispers bringing chills down your spine and turning your face slightly pink. Straightening up he looks down at you frolicking at your reaction. "Two week as a girl, if you can last that long you win and can have…My spare shades."

"Your so on dude! But, first I gotta find that potion I don't want it to get in the wrong hands." You say looking around yet again for the potion.

"Oh that, it's in my room" He shrugs swiftly putting his arm around my shoulders and leading me out of my room. "Can't have you going and taking a swig withought me knowing. Nope sorry Egderp that's not how it works. You want to be a boy again you come and bow down to me."

"Heh, right" You say your voice muffled. The hand on your shoulder is really getting to you. It's just there all cozy like it's next to some cozy assed campfire. Heck, you wouldn't be surprised if he started to sing the campfire song out of nowhere. "Um, Dave c-can you move your hand?" You ask your discomfort obvious in your stuttering voice.

"What? Oh you mean this sexy thing, hell naw man we're in the moment right now." He says pushing you closer to him. You face heats up like a sauna and you stiffen.

"No, really Dave please let go this is awkward" You say swatting at his hand in a sad attempt to make him let go. Shaking his head Dave brings you even closer and blows in your ear. "Bwah! Dave, i'm not a homo" You say jumping from the sudden heat on your neck.

"Yeah I know but, last time I checked your not a boy." He says looking you straight in the face. Oh. You freeze. Dave slowly brings his glasses down and stares at you with his candy red eyes. You both stand there like that for a few seconds then Dave smirks. Bringing his glasses back over his eyes and taking his hand off your shoulder he turns to walk away. "Just remember Your a girl right now Egbert" He murmurs under his breath and waves his hand at you before turning behind a corner.

For what seemed like minutes you sat there trying to figure out just what had happened. Did Dave just flirt with you? No, not that fake flirtation that he uses on you just to joke around. No this was serious, Dave was serious and, now here you were wondering if all the other times were fake. Would've this whole time he was serious. Wait, no call down Egbert he was probably just trying to mess with you like usual. Yeah theres no way he was serious though his eyes were pretty lustful...His eyes, he showed you his eyes for the very first time and what did you do have a gasm. Ok, no stop the spasm and go meet your friends. You are going to win a bet and these damn girly hormones are not going to stop you! Not in a million years!

Running to the room you had just been in with everyone else you burst through the room. "Hey guys!" You holler waving your hands around like a retard. Kanaya and Rose look over at you unfazed by your ignorant actions. While Aradia just stares at you in confusion. You should probably tell her what happened. Making your way to Aradia to tell her about the drama your stopped when Eridan comes gliding in.

"You, landwweller, did you drink my elixir?" He asks in a pissed scottish voice. He's staring you down, probably trying to make you scared. Not that you would ever be afraid of a hipster with a closest full of scarves and quadrants blank as a piece of paper. Yep, totally wouldn't be afraid of him buuuuuuuut, your kinda a girl and that's totally why your so scared right now. Nothing else but that... "Wwell did you?!"

"Er, uhhhhh, maybe?" Ok, it wasn't supposed to be a question but your so scared everything in your head is jumbled up and stuff. You don't even know your left hand to your right.

"Did you or did you not?" He questions standing over you like the eiffel tower would some french girl, and shit when did you become the god of metaphors? That and why does Eridan not realize you did use his elixir and it's the reason your...female.

"I did?" You say shrinking in height staring at his hideous lavender eyes. Uck, you really hate purple. But that's beyond the point. Eridans really upset now he looks like he's about to kill you. God that would suck to be killed by a wimp.

"Hey, ED why you being an ath to that girl?" You hear a man with a insufferable lisp ask and sigh with relief. Eridan takes his eyes off you and looks over a Sollux.

"First off this GIRL is John, second he stole my elixir!" Eridan whines. Sollux looks you over then starts to crack up.

"You made an elixir to be feminine? What the hell ED, are you retarded? What thought just cause the girls weren't interested some tasteless guy would?" Sollux is now cracking up holding his sides and gasping for breath. Wow, way to be rude.

"Wwha-No! I wwas not going to use it on myself I wwas actually going to use it on a certain someone..."

"Oh man thith ith priceleth whothe the unlucky man that your planning to trick to another gender?!"

"I'm not telling you!"

"Yeth you are, or i'm telling FF."

"That's unfair you can't do that!"

"Yeth, I can and I will so tell me whose the unlucky bastard" Eridan tenses up and everyone in the room besides Sollux takes the hint of just who this unlucky bastard is. You've never been good with guessing the atmosphere but you know as much to walk away before things get "out of hand". You back carefully out of the room, the last thing you hear is a quiet mumble from Eridan. It's pretty obvious Sollux heard it two because his face seemed to get really red. Then he started to insult Eridan telling him that what he was doing was "disgusting." But, that's as much as you heard. Thank god two.

Just as you were leaving you bumped into Karkat. Awsome now the two of you can hang out...or not. Karkat looked at you after falling on his ass, his eyes widened and he made a mad dash out of the area. Jerk!


	4. Buttered Up Emotions

**Thank you so much for the good review and follows, I never suspected this story to be popular since it's mostly me writing random things that somehow clicks? Whatever it is you like about this story thank you so much just for reading it! Sorry for my weird way of writing i'm counted different so my writing quirks are also different.**

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For the rest of the day your left pondering why Karkat ran away from you. It's not like the nubby horned troll to do that. Did you do something wrong? Thinking back on the day the only thing you remember that was rude was when you laughed at him. Maybe it's cause you didn't tell him first, the two of you were pretty close. But, you just can't see why that would hurt him. Then again this is Karkat we're talking about. He's an emotional bundle that can erupt at some of the oddest moments.

Your so deep in thought that you never notice Dave standing in front of you. With a few more swift steps you run right into the cool dude. "Eep" You scream when you fall on-top of the cool kid. You hear a quiet _oomph_ from Dave telling you he hit the ground and dang did it hurt. It wasn't any better for you though. Dave just wasn't that much of a pillow. Using your now girly hands you push up from your spot on Daves chest. "Hey Dave!" You chirp trying your hardest to make this issue not awkward.

Smirking Dave tips his glasses back in place and nods. He says nothing. _Well, this is awkward, _You mumble an apology and slowly make your off him. Well, try Intel one cool kid decides to pull you back.

"Ummm, Dave is something the matter?" You ask your face turning a silent shade of red as you try yet again to get up.

"Nothing really just saying hi to my sweetheart who ran into my embrace. Never knew you would want me so badly Egbert. I mean god I know I'm hot but still."

"Dave! I didn't mean to run into you don't think do highly of yourself" You say fighting back a wave of blush. Hanging on for dear life when Dave decides to pick you up and take a walk with you in his grasp. "Dave really?" You ask watching the corner of his lips go up in a smirk.

"Just keeping the citizens of this here comet from being ran over by a brain damaged derp." Ouch. That hurt. Well not really but for gambit reasons it does now. Making the best hurt face you stare at him and start kicking your feet.

"Daaaavvvee, that's so mean! I am not a derp!"

"Never said you were the derp, way to insult yourself Eg**derp**" He's now shaking his head. He's really enjoying this isn't he?

"Never mind that Dave put me down!" Now your flaying both your arms and legs.

"Nope no can do, not intel your in safe distance from pedestrians" It's just then that you notice you are in an area you've never been to before. That says a lot since you love running around in the many different areas.

"Where are we going?" You ask moving your head sideways like what a confused dog would do. Dave looks down at you for a second (at least you think he does, those shades just cause complications)

"I told you i'm taking you away from where the pedestrians are, those poor guys wouldn't know what hit them if your derpy face ran into them. They'd be calling me and TZ saying stuff like 'help this derpy girl that looks a hell like john ran into me and now I think I might be a cripple' then me and TZ would have to arrest you. Wouldn't want to do that know would we?" Holding in a giggle you shake your head. God did you love Daves rants they were just so stupid!

"No, I guess we wouldn't, my dad wouldn't be that proud of me I know that much" You chirp. Dave nods and for a few minutes the he walks in total silence. With the occasional whine of boredom from your truly.

"Here we are Egderp" You hear him say as you slowly are put down. Your eyes grow wide when you see where you are. There's long rows of red chairs on both sides of you and a film canteen in the middle. At the bottom of the sets of chairs is a large screen with what you know to be the best movie ever rolling on it's screen. Looking over at Dave you smile and practically jump out of your skin.

"Dave, do you know what this is?" You ask excitement rushing through your veins,(if that's even possible)

"A movie theater?" He questions shrugging at your baffled expression.

"Nooooo, I mean yes it is a movie theater. But it's so much more It's a movie theater free of charge with Nic Cage on the screen! This is heaven dude, HEAVEN!" You practically scream these words then jump from your spot next to him to pick a seat. Taking great precious time to choose the perfect seat. You look up at the screen and smile _perfect. _ Looking behind you to see where Dave is you notice he hasn't moved since you came into the room.

"Over here Dave" You holler waving your hands frantically. Not that it was hard to find you in the empty room. Dave smirks at your stupid antics and makes his way over to sit next to you. Once he's taken his seat you look back at the screen and listen to the greatly planned movie as the plot runs through your head. Throughout the whole movie you get so into it you don't notice the many different movements Daves making. It's only when the credits are rolling on the screen that you notice just how close he is. Or how his arm is around your shoulder like that one time. Or how he's taken off his glasses and staring you right in the eyes.

_Oh shit_, is all that runs through your mind when he starts to lean closer to you. Your face seems to become warm when you realize what's going on. Inside your head your screaming to run away. But, wait your to stupid to listen to your mind. Before you know what your doing your leaning closer to meet him at a check point. And oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Daves lips are on yours!

Your mind is know screaming for you to get away from him, but nope you do the opposite. Closing your eyes you lean into the kiss. You can feel Dave smirk as he brings one of his hands to the back of your head and...oh no he's trying to deepen the kiss. His tongue slides on your lips making you shiver. Your mouth carefully opens to him and you move even closer to him. Bringing one of your own hands up to his cheek.

After a few minutes the two of you move away for breath. Dave looks at you his eyes showing a feeling you've never seen before. He then opens his mouth and says the few words you never thought to hear.

"I love you"

Your eyes widen when you hear this. Dave confessed to you, he likes you! Finally your senses turn on and you shove him away. Your face is red as a tomato and you have no idea what the hell just happened. Quickly standing you dash out of the room and into the pedestrians territory.

_Dave kissed me, and I kissed him back_. _He confessed to me and..and I might feel the same, do I? _ Your face grows redder when you think of what could've happened. It's around that time when yet again you run into somebody.

"Fuck" You hear him yell and look down at who you've fallen onto. _Karkat?_ "Fuck, you really need to stop running into me Egbert" You here him mumble before he pushes you off and starts to walk away.

"Wait!" You yell at him. Turning around he looks at you confused by your weird actions. "Karkat I need your help."

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**I have no idea what i've just written but, I hope it's counted as 'good'. I've also decided to go with the flow on shippy part if a ship happens it happens!**


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